An adjacent story line develops in Johnny's footnotes, detailing what is progressing in Johnny's life as he is assembling the narrative. It remains unclear if Johnny's obsessions with the writings of Zampanò and, subsequent delusions, paranoia, etc. are the result of drug use, insanity, or the effects of Zampanò's writing itself. Johnny recounts tales of his various sexual encounters, his lust for a tattooed stripper he calls Thumper, and his bar-hopping with Lude throughout
various notes he wrote through the book. The reader also slowly learns more about Johnny's childhood living with an abusive foster father, engaging in violent fights at school, and of the origin of Johnny's mysterious scars (House of Leaves, 505). This means Johnny has had a hard life, with many disturbing encounters. This influenced how he reacted to the events in his life, the good and the bad.

for anyone and anything

Why could'nt you see, you and me were one and the same. Back then, before i gave you myboby, my soul. You were my first i thought you were the one. We both feel, we both love as we hate. We both heal, the wounds burn still today. We want, we need. I'm glad to say i was stupid, stupid to belive you could feel, feel the touch of warm skin,skin that held your scent. The scent that could made me weak. Weak as i was i belived in someone. Someone who was never here. Never there ,there for me, when i needed them the most. When you where there, you where miles away. away from me, dreaming of a new life, leaving me behind. Too fall so deep, you could never reach me, no one could.a lie, a fake, nothing in its meaning. you said you were a mess, when it was me breaking down. crumbling to your will, your touch, even if it was cold. eyes as dark as night, holding secrets. i know im selfish, but im not careless. i never would have lost you if i didnt want too. i hate you, i dont want you back, i dont care. cry, beg, worthless attemts. i could never see inside of you, that scared me. i couldnt see you, not the real you. so why do i love you? feel i need you? id rather die, then be like you. you where sexy, when you fell from gace. so shitty, so lost, someone i could relate too. you cut me, bit me, scratched me, to be honest, i loved it,as it built. can you belive i actually thought, thought you were real. i guess they were right, i was naive before i met you as you, the real you. if i were as stupid as you said, i would have been like most stupid people and taken you back. when you called crying, begging,asking for forgiveness and death. so naive to belive id fall again, fall for that. all i need, i have. no longer weak, no longer deppressed, i am me again. so proud to be, with a better man, who showed me love. a man whos so much better then you, and yet so much greater then me.

losing you

Things are not getting any better,in fact they seem to be getting worse.me and my girl are having alot of problems and todays our anniversary and she is talking about leaving the county for good!! she says she doesnt know where she is going but she will call me when she gets there. she said she is leaving this hell hole. I mean things between us are bad, it hurts alot. its like if things between us keep getting worse then I might lose her and without her im nothing its bullshit but then again so is life. I feel like im losing everyone.
today I was so depressed and I feel like im not good enough 4 anyone. I feel like im not pretty enough even though she says im sexy and hot,but today I was on the-n and I saw a pic comment that she left for her ex's picture and she said omfg your so fuckin sexy thats when my depression started I know im not pretty enough for anyone I mean im not ugly but I felt like it today.I mean I think thats the first time she seen a pic of her ex I was so hurt I still am.I feel like a big part of me is dead.I swear my life sucks big time! I mean today was so boring and stressful.

FACEBOOK!

hey people just reacently made a face book, already have 174 photos, you should check it out, at face book, Rachel Lynn Bridges, im the only lynn bridges. yep and if u have one ADD ME!!! love to chat but i gotta go!

I dont know why so dont ask me

Dont make me kick youre ass mother fucker!!!!
Have you ever seen these windows,
Have you ever tried
To see them through, to see the home
Of eternal twilight?
You hear no sound
Through these windows,
There's no noise
Behind these walls
When the night falls
And the lights glow up in the city
These abandoned windows
Remain dark and emply.
And when the morning comes
To paint the world in gold,
These windows reflect no light
They remain dim and cold.
Eyes like wells
Like a window to nothing
Only darkness dwells
Behind the window to nothing.
Only silence flows
Behind these windows,
And no one knows
What's behind these walls.
Eyes like wells
Like a window to nothing
Only darkness dwells
Behind the window to nothing.

English 494 Thomas Wilk week 5 blog entry.

The physical dimensions of words themselves are not in any way perfect. Even in great quantities, words do not physically round up too much. Despite their physical size, words can move countries to civil war, overthrow governments, or move someone to tears. All these were dealt with in the newspaper, in its own relativities place of course, (though we never actually succeeded in overthrowing the government.) Death in the school, reactions to new policies, and new school administration were the most important subjects through the school newspaper. With proper skills, people can use their literacy skills to accomplish their own goals. Late in my senior year I tried to use my literacy to capture the school’s attention, to realize what was going on around them. I felt that people should understand how the world around them works, and should be aware of what they can do to change that surrounding. Overall, I think an important part of being literate is being a responsible and aware human being.

Sometimes I still

Sometimes I still
Close my eyes and hear
Your footsteps
Tearing the silence apart.

Sometimes I still
I still feel the thrill
Of touching you
Deep in my heart.

Sometimes I still
I still try to clear
My memories
From your haunting ghost.

Sometimes I still
Feel the well-known fear
Of losing you
Like you haven't been already lost.

Sometimes I still
Close my eyes and feel
Your soothing touch
On my burning skin.

And sometimes I still
Believe you were real,
It's hard to face the truth;
You were nothing but a dream.
(to my loved and to be loved)